Category: motherhood

Baby’s Piggy Bank

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Do you know how much kids cost? I am not talking about babies, but your children, ages 0-24 years old. It did not take me long to start looking at ways to save money and accumulate some wealth for baby when I got pregnant. Well knowing how much a little human being can cost throughout the stages of their life, it was crucial that I start looking at investment accounts of some sort for the the little one. From doctor’s visits, swim lessons, trips, activities, to college, children are expensive (just ask my parents), so let’s debunk the myth that only babies are expensive. ALL CHILDREN at ALL AGES cost money.

So when I started looking, I immediately thought of college first. I was one of those lucky people where my parents paid for college, but you never know where you are going to be in your life when it is time for your children to go off to school, so this is an excellent place to start.

529 College Savings Plan– Not only do these plans grow tax deferred, but they are also tax-free for qualified withdrawals. Yes, they grow at a slow rate (much like a mutual fund that you use for a 401k), but the whole point of these is to start early. In my opinion, 18 years early is never too early. Keep in mind an investor can look into using different states’ plans, depending on what they want to achieve and are not stuck using their own. Just choose a plan, an investment company, a monthly amount you want to contribute, stick to it, increase it, and watch your portfolio grow. I personally went with Merrill Lynch when I was seven months pregnant. You can open a plan under your name and then switch it to the munchkin’s.

Stock Options- If you want to see a larger rate of return in a shorter amount of time, you can always go with stock options. My daughter is six months old and I just started doing this. It is riskier, but if you are liquid and know what stocks you can buy and hold, then you will be fine. Some examples to buy are Amazon, Apple, Alphabet… the list can go and on, but I highly recommend you employee a stock broker or at least use an investment company with basic trading recommendations (such as Merrill Edge).

401K– If you are not contributing to your 401K, do it now. This is your retirement tool, not your child’s college fund. Don’t skimp on those contributions at a 3 or 5% rate, make it hurt. This entails going into your 401K account and physically changing the contribution amount- just do it.

The Old Piggy Bank– You are going to laugh, but much holds true to the saying “Cash is King.” Obviously I am not talking about stuffing $100 bills under your mattress, but keep a savings account for baby. If you are investing in a College Fund for the little one, open up a savings account. The money grandma and grandpa give them on Christmas, the $50 check that was sent for her birthday, as well as any monthly spare change you have, save it. The College Fund won’t cover personal expenses, so if your bigger baby wants to buy a car at 16 and you want to help them, then this is where that savings account comes in.

You will find this funny, but my hubby puts all his spare change in our daughter’s actual piggy bank. I then take it at the end of the month and deposit it in her account. It’s a very cute and fun way to save for your kids, and later on you can teach them the meaning of saving using that same little bank by doing chores or other things that make them well-behaved kids.

 

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Livia’s First Piggy Bank (compliments of my mom)

The Executive Mom

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Times are changing and so are moms. But do any of you have times where you wish that you could be a stay at home mom because you feel you are losing time with your baby (and we ever so wish they could stay teeny tiny)?

I’ll admit I’ve had that feeling. I tried staying home for a week and said, ok- this is not for me. I do believe, however,  that there needs to be a strong balance between both work and being a mother, as one or the other can easily consume. In my case, work was cosuming my life and I would bring it (and a crappy attitude) back home. I was not only managing two different products, but a very large group of people that reported directly to me. I had becomed accustomed to this as the Logistics and Customs Brokerage business can be pretty demanding and I managed like Sandra Bullock on The Proposal, but doing this with a new baby was a whole new dimension of crazy.

I missed my daughter and also hated the fact that I would come home tired, in a bad mood, and would only get to see for 30 minutes before she went to bed. I was also starting to thing, “Is this stress really worth it?” Suddenly two months ago and out of nowhere, a recruiter for a competitor reached out to me and asked if I was interested in an executive position as a subject matter expert for sales that focused on A level clients. She was looking for a hunter, but also mentioned that I could home office and plan my travel as I deemed necessary.

This sounded perfect. I bounced the idea off my family, friends, and also took a vast amount of time to contemplate the opportunity. I had been managing people, a regulatory environment, and a P&L for almost five years now and going back to sales and development (where I first started my career) was going to be a complete 180 degree turn. But the idea of having the mental space and time to organize my life and prioritize was extremely appealing. In short, I took the job and here I am. So far, this is my third day and I already feel a large weight has been lifted off. Not because the expectations are less (if anything, they are more), but because I can actually focus on the end goal and I am not being pulled in ten different directions.

So what is the point of this? If you are a new mom and have always been used to working, don’t stop for fear that you are going to miss out on your baby’s first couple of months. Yes, it does suck when you go back to work, but if you feel like you are spending more than you should in the office, do not immediately think you need to stop working. Go find something else that motivates you, makes you happy, and allows you to spend that time you want with baby and the family. There are opportunities out there, you just need to look (or maybe they will find you)!

Happy Hunting.

 

 

What are you feeding your baby?

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I have heard so many different schedules and parenting hacks for baby foods, from eating super-charged lactation cookies to increase breast-milk production and using the latest bottle warming technology (this thing takes forever, I prefer the old stove-top option), all the way to baby food processors and baby formula pod Keurig machines.

My method was pretty simple. I knew I wanted to breastfeed my daughter as long as I could and then introduce a natural diet full of fresh and nutritious ingredients. I breastfed Livia exclusively until she was five months old and then I noticed she started getting more demanding as my work hours got crazier. As committed as I was (I even took a manual breast pump on my ski trip when she was four months old, took my pumping breaks at the tops of the mountains in 10F weather, and  would store the milk in a little backpack until I made my way down the mountain), something had to give.

Taking my mother’s and grandmother’s advice, I started supplementing her breast-milk with evaporated milk and water (an old hack used by countless mothers back in the 60’s and 70’s). I was pretty apprehensive about the whole situation, but Livia sucked that first bottle down in lightning speed and did very well with the initial introduction. I asked several pediatricians what they thought, and I received the same feedback- as long as she is eating and gaining weight, you are gold. Why not formula (I have been asked this several times)? I felt her digestion was very similar to when she was only on breastmilk and she was handling it like a champ. Why change something when it works and is equally healthy?

A month after the fact, I started introducing solid foods because she kept staring longingly at me whenever I had a spoon in my hand. I was so excited to use my Beaba Babycook steamer and blender, so I armed myself with organic  bananas, sweet potatoes, carrots, and apples and started one new food each week. So far she is absolutely in love with her sweet potatoes. After I steam these, I mix a little bit of evaporated milk to get the consistency where I need it to be, and she is over the moon. As a working mother, it is hard to cook her fresh food on a daily basis. But what I do is simple- I cook once a week and store her food in baby freezer food trays and defrost them on the stove-top, never in the microwave.

So what is the right way? There really isn’t as long as you are raising a healthy and happy baby. There is only your way when it comes to your children. I felt “breast was best” to start off with (but I also was not planning on breastfeeding her into her toddler years), and I also think introducing them to a healthy diet to start off with is crucial. Not only because of their overall health, but because it develops babies into children that are willing to try new things and leaves them less prone to being picky eaters.

Now for those adventurous mamas that are still breastfeeding, but want to be able to go out on a little outdoor adventure like I did- I recommend the Evenflo Manual Breast Pump  , $16.99, Amazon. It worked like a charm and was easy to carry around.

Want to make your own baby’s food? BEABA Babycook 4 in 1 Steam Cooker and Blender, 4.5 cups, Dishwasher Safe, Latte Mint $149.95, Amazon

Need help storing food for the little one? Best Homemade Baby Food Storage Container Freezer Trays  , $18.95, Amazon (the little pods serve as the perfect baby serving and are also easy to take out)

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Homemade sweet potatoes made with the Beaba Babycook and stored in the baby food freezer trays

 

The Day you were Born

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An excerpt from the First 30 Days of Night… 

Day 1- September 21 The Day you were Born 

I remember getting the call at 6am on Wednesday from the labor and delivery ward at Texas Children’s Pavilion for Women letting me know that the bed was ready for your arrival.

I was so nervous that I told them I was going to be there in 20 minutes- yeah right. My mom, your father, and I rolled into the hospital at 7:30am, Starbucks in-hand. We let my uncle (the cardiologist) know, because he’s been at my side ever since I was born and when I diagnosed with Leukemia when I was 7, so of course he was going to be there.

We were actually supposed to be there the day before, but apparently there had been an emergency at the hospital, everyone decided to have a C-Section that night and there was a baby born in an elevator. Clearly, it was not time for you to come.

Once we got there, I was escorted into the waiting area with my mom while your father parked the car (he refused to valet, despite our several objections- more on this later). The nurses came in to receive me and noted that coffee in my right hand and told me I had about 15 minutes to down it. Apparently it is not every day a mother about to go into labor comes in with her Grande cup of Pike’s Place Roast.

I was escorted into the “laboring room,” which silently scared the hell out of me, but I never showed it. Especially when I saw a huge fitness ball on the corner and I remember thinking… “What the hell are they expecting me to do with this thing?” The nurse told me it was for laboring. I actually ended up bouncing on that ball and it felt pretty good when I felt the contractions at their strongest.

The two nurses that were assigned to me were wonderful and super sweet, in addition to being very patient the entire time. After running all the tests and diagnostics, it was time for me to be induced. The inducement process started at 9am and when that first contraction came, I thought I was going to keel over and die. Little did I know this was nothing, just the start, and it was about to go down. I was given some sedatives to minimize the pain, but you were extremely responsive and ready to get out.

Finally, my water broke at 1:30pm. I felt a pop inside me and I remember thinking, “I read about this in some Facebook feed.” I decided to make the announcement and sure enough, I was right. So there I was, laboring with pain medication and you were just reluctant to come out. Once I received the epidural, I felt nothing and decided to use my time to nap until you were ready.

I remember being woken up several times by the nurses to re-position the monitors on my stomach and several concerned whispers. In the midst of my nap, I remember my uncle telling my mom that you were going to end up being delivered a C-Section (which was not my plan). The doctor has told me at your 28 week appointment that only one person could be in the operating room if you resulted in a C-Section delivery. With my uncle having saved my life when he was the one who diagnosed me with Leukemia, and my fiancee, your father, who I love with my heart, both there- it was a heart-wrenching decision to make, which I had not even thought about making because I had decided to deliver you naturally due to this specific reason.

So I was completely shocked when the attending doctor came in and spoke to me in a serious, but friendly tone. You were going to be delivered via C-Section immediately.

It wasn’t even two minutes when an entire staff of nurses trotted in to prep me, I was told to call your father because he had gone to get something to eat, and my uncle was putting on his scrubs. I was on the verge of tears  as it was not even five minutes after I called your father and he told me was parking that I was being rolled into the O.R.

I remember bright blue and green overhead lights, the anesthesiologist behind me trying to coax me to relax, my uncle closely examining the incision being made so I wouldn’t get butchered, and my doctor rushing in because he had just left his shift (but returned, because he is the best), and me staring at the ceiling with a million thoughts running across my mind, tears in my eyes. I felt pressure from the other side of the curtain, some prodding, but no pain. This went on for about ten minutes.

Finally, you were pulled out of me, raised for two seconds atop of the curtain and taken to the neonatal station next to my bed. You were a tiny little baby at 5lbs and 15 ounces, 18 inches long born at 8:32pm. The neonatal team wanted to make sure you were healthy, and that is one I had your father called in. I remember him coming into the room with a surgical mask on, and thinking what pretty blue eyes the doctor had (keep in mind I was under a lot of sedation) and it took me a second to realize it was actually your father under that mask. He was teary eyed, but I could see his eyes smiling down on me.

I was so happy to see him and even more ecstatic when they handed you to us, all bundled up, after they had your screenings done. You were so small and born with a little bit of jaundice, so you had to be taken to the NICU for a couple of nights until it cleared up.

I was rolled out of the OR and back into the laboring room until my room was ready, in complete disbelief to what had happened, but so ready to have you in my arms again. That is when the breastfeeding pump was rolled my way. With all the wires and cups sticking out from the device, I had no idea how to use it (I never took a class, thinking I would just wing it), and the nurse said you needed to get my colostrum to help wash away your jaundice, so it would be better that I get to it.

Being the resilient woman that I am, I was determined to have you home by the time I was discharged so I hooked myself up to this strange looking machine and pumped away. I felt like a cow. I pumped out 15CC of colostrum and put the cap back on the little tube. When the nurse came back in, she was astonished as it was enough for three to four feedings. I recall feeling pride in my coma-induced state and giving myself a mental high-five.

I do not remember much of what happened after that as the anesthesiologist gave me some pretty strong stuff, but I do know I dreamed of you.

30 Days of Night

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I think this is a name of a movie set in Alaska about alien vampires, but it was the best title I could relate to for the first 30 days after I had Livia. 30 Days of Night was so accurate that I decided to write a 30 day memoir of what my experience as a new mom was like. Granted, I had all the help I could get thanks to my mom and my husband, but the first-time mom fear and apprehension were both there.

I was scared I was going to hurt her when I changed her, I refused to touch her belly button for fear that I would get it infected, I thought I would dent her head in, I didn’t want anyone touching her, and I also thought I was a bad mom for going to get my nails done or working out. I felt like I needed to be quarantined.

This prompted my memoir as I wanted to remember those first 30 days. Not because I wanted a keen reminder of being an angry zombie, but because most experienced moms say they forget. They fall in love with their babies so much and enjoy watching them grow, that they forget those first 30 days and the trials and tribulations that one goes through out of love while learning to take care of a tiny human. I did not want to forget.

I still remember arguing with my mom about giving her a bath. My mom told me she dunked me in the bath just days after I was born. My new-mom syndrome had me thinking her skin was going fall off. Five months later, not only have I gotten soap in her eye while washing her hair (I literally thought she was going to go blind), but now she splashes away in her little bathtub and laughs every time she is placed in the water.

With that being said, I will be posting excerpts of those 30 days, not only so other new moms can relate to the feeling of being that new mom, but so I can look at what a ridiculous and emotional mess I was.

 

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