The Executive Mom

Times are changing and so are moms. But do any of you have times where you wish that you could be a stay at home mom because you feel you are losing time with your baby (and we ever so wish they could stay teeny tiny)?

I’ll admit I’ve had that feeling. I tried staying home for a week and said, ok- this is not for me. I do believe, however,  that there needs to be a strong balance between both work and being a mother, as one or the other can easily consume. In my case, work was cosuming my life and I would bring it (and a crappy attitude) back home. I was not only managing two different products, but a very large group of people that reported directly to me. I had becomed accustomed to this as the Logistics and Customs Brokerage business can be pretty demanding and I managed like Sandra Bullock on The Proposal, but doing this with a new baby was a whole new dimension of crazy.

I missed my daughter and also hated the fact that I would come home tired, in a bad mood, and would only get to see for 30 minutes before she went to bed. I was also starting to thing, “Is this stress really worth it?” Suddenly two months ago and out of nowhere, a recruiter for a competitor reached out to me and asked if I was interested in an executive position as a subject matter expert for sales that focused on A level clients. She was looking for a hunter, but also mentioned that I could home office and plan my travel as I deemed necessary.

This sounded perfect. I bounced the idea off my family, friends, and also took a vast amount of time to contemplate the opportunity. I had been managing people, a regulatory environment, and a P&L for almost five years now and going back to sales and development (where I first started my career) was going to be a complete 180 degree turn. But the idea of having the mental space and time to organize my life and prioritize was extremely appealing. In short, I took the job and here I am. So far, this is my third day and I already feel a large weight has been lifted off. Not because the expectations are less (if anything, they are more), but because I can actually focus on the end goal and I am not being pulled in ten different directions.

So what is the point of this? If you are a new mom and have always been used to working, don’t stop for fear that you are going to miss out on your baby’s first couple of months. Yes, it does suck when you go back to work, but if you feel like you are spending more than you should in the office, do not immediately think you need to stop working. Go find something else that motivates you, makes you happy, and allows you to spend that time you want with baby and the family. There are opportunities out there, you just need to look (or maybe they will find you)!

Happy Hunting.

 

 

You & I (and our baby)

Couples with children often forget to separate some time for themselves to reconnect as partners.

Right on Livia’s six month birthday, we decided to take a little R&R at the beach in Puerto Escondido, Oaxaca to spend some quality time with each other, have some adult time with friends, and leave our little one in the care of my parents.

Let me tell you, I was so excited for this trip as I knew we could use some much needed time together, but I was also dreading leaving our baby for four days straight. I had just stopped breast feeding, so I was a little apprehensive about the whole situation and seriously felt she would forget who her mother was.

The moment we dropped her off with my parents I got teary eyed, but my hubby was super supportive and reassured me, as did my parents.

It is hard leaving something you love so much behind- but I also knew I had to take care of us as a relationship. Plus we weren’t going anywhere far and I knew my mom had been looking forward to taking care of her for some time now.

So now we returned from our travels and I can tell all new moms and dads one thing- rip the bandaid and take the trip. Yes, you’ll want to talk to your baby every day, but you’ll also get some much needed sleep and relaxation without having to worry about what time baby will be hungry or cranky. You’ll get to cuddle and sleep in, as well as have fun going out and getting pampered with a massage or two.

We had a great time together at the beach, spoke to Livia every day, and enjoyed ourselves.

One thing that I think is very important is that you need to put yourselves first as a couple in order to move forward as a family. Show your children how much you care, love, and respect each other so that they can learn to act the same way in the future. Strong together is better than strong alone because your messages and lessons will be more concrete and hold more stance in your kids’ eyes.

Yes, you’ll get occasional feelings of guilt for leaving your children behind, but it needs to happen for everyone’s sanity and to ensure that they are also used to being around different people. After all, who is going to stay around after you send your kids off to college? Your significant other.

(I will tell you, though, the moment I saw my daughter at the airport coming back from the beach, my heart exploded.)

A Different Set of Arms

Let’s face it. We’ve all been here pre-baby- you are sitting in a plane minding your own business, getting ready to sleep or work when suddenly a person toting a baby sits right next to you and you think FML.

I am now the person toting the baby and thankfully she has been a blessing as she is a great traveler, except for this last time. Livia is six months old and the hubby and I decided to take our first vacation sans baby to Puerto first Escondido, Oaxaca and had to drop her off in Mexico City with my parents.

Everything was going perfect at the airport, until we got on the plane and she just got a bout of instant fussiness. She switched from arm to arm back and forth between us, until all of a sudden a lady appeared out of nowhere and asked if she could hold her. Surprised, but in need of a much needed break, we said ok and she stood there rocking my daughter (who to everyone’s surprise, calmed down and started laughing). We were shocked.

I remember my mother telling me that sometimes babies need a different set of arms. We sat there on the plane talking to this lady for about 40 minutes and I remember thinking, god bless her. This different set of arms theory works! Babies do feel the parents’ energy and quite frankly, the hubby and I were feeling frazzled and exasperated. This lady approached us with good vibes and positive energy, and immediately turned my daughter’s mood around.

So my advise to those pre-baby travelers is, don’t be afraid to offer your help if you see parents struggling on your flight, smile, offer words of encouragement, and if you dare- offer to give them a break. You’ll probably get a polite, “no thank you,” but that will have an immediate impact on how the parents feel at that very moment in a pretty stressful situation.

Happy travels 🙂